Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Separation dealing with being empty nesters

Family Proclamation quote. “. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

On Monday labor day we had the opportunity to go to a great church picnic at a local theme park.It was so much fun to fellowship with other familys and see the little kids having fun. Our 2 kids (19 & 17) were there too but went their separate ways to hang out with their friends and ride the rides. My son with his friends My daughter with hers.Because they couldn't decide what rides to ride together . Although they did meet up later

It reminded me of when they were little and they were playing and fighting and arguing over some toy in the living room while I was in the kitchen right next to the living room.
 After numerous attempts to tell them to " stop fighting" " knock it off"" play nicely"etc etc. 
I finally lost it and raised my voice and Yelled "JUST SEPARATE WILL YOU" . It went quiet then My son Stefan said . " Woah Becky I don't know what that means but we better do it" LOL
After I stopped laughing and pulled myself together. I had to go in and explain that separate means to not be next to each other put some space between you so you won't argue.
So I guess they now know what that means now, as they knew they would argue if they were together the whole time on Monday :-)

So the same day Monday, also meant that with both our kids doing their own thing . It gave Tim and I an opportunity to walk around just the 2 of us. We rode the crazy rides like the ferris wheel and the train around the park LOL. Although Tim loves the roller coasters etc I'm a little more wary I used to ride them all. Guess I am getting old LOL. Anyway back on topic, it gave us the opportunity to talk about our future.
We were thinking about next year this time when Both our kids will be gone. My son on a mission for 2 years and My daughter away at college . The above picture pretty much sums up how I will be on the day they leave.No we were not planning cruises just the two of us,Finances won't be that good with paying for these new ventures of our children ! We were just reminiscing about when they were small  and just thinking how different it will be
But it reminded me of a great article from the Henry B Eyring ( to read the whole article click on following link) - Ensign Article - “Write upon My Heart”
He talked about when he said goodbye to his father on a street corner in New york and knew that his life would be different now .
Quote "
Parents should teach their children to pray. The child learns both from what the parents do and what they say. The child who sees a mother or a father pass through the trials of life with fervent prayer to God and then hears a sincere testimony that God answered in kindness will remember what they saw and heard. When their trials come, they will be prepared.

In time, when the child is away from home and family, prayer can provide the shield of protection the parent will want so much for them to have. Parting can be hard, particularly when the parent and the child know that they may not see each other for a long time. I had that experience with my father. We parted on a street corner in New York City. He had come there for his work. I was there on my way to another place. We both knew that I probably would never return to live with my parents under the same roof again.

It was a sunny day, around noontime, the streets crowded with cars and pedestrians. On that particular corner there was a traffic light which stopped the cars and the people in all directions for a few minutes. The light changed to red; the cars stopped. The crowd of pedestrians hurried off the curbs, moving every way, including diagonally, across the intersection.

The time had come for parting, and I started across the street. I stopped almost in the center, with people rushing by me. I turned to look back. Instead of moving off in the crowd, my father was still standing on the corner looking at me. To me he seemed lonely and perhaps a little sad. I wanted to go back to him, but I realized the light would change and so I turned and hurried on.

Years later I talked to him about that moment. He told me that I had misread his face. He said he was not sad; he was concerned. He had seen me look back, as if I were a little boy, uncertain and looking for assurance. He told me in those later years that the thought in his mind had been: Will he be all right? Have I taught him enough? Is he prepared for whatever may lie ahead?

I think in so many ways I feel just like this father  "will they be all right?" "Have I taught them enough/". Or at least enough to get by, then they will learn from experiences. Although I am excited for them too as they experience new things . My Heart also aches that they will not be around, I know I have to let go and let them fly . But it sure isn't easy. So many people have said how they dealt with this time in their lives . I think the best advice is to Pray and ask for guidance as we deal with each Time in our live. I will be keeping busy and looking forward to their story's that they will tell as they go out into the world. But I know they will return to the nest every now and then. and I will be there. with New feathers on the beds in the nest and worms to feed them LOL 


  1. "with New feathers on the beds in the nest and worms to feed them " perfect analogy!

  2. That is so sweet! Thank you for sharing that with me Marie! I'm sure your kids will do great and return often to honor you!